I’ve always heard other people say that not two pregnancies are alike, not even those experienced on your own body, and boy were they right. Even the journey from establishing the wish of wanting to expand your family, to then ultimately holding that positive pregnancy test in your hands may be different from one pregnancy to another (as it was for us). It has been a long and somewhat bumpy ride with fertility treatments this second time around, a quite heavy and stressful experience you just never picture yourself having to go through, and honestly I cannot describe how grateful I am to sit here today; growing another healthy baby girl in my womb, only having 3 months left before we can all welcome her into our little family. I am not going to dive into the details of our treatment here, but please know that if you’re going through something similar I understand. I understand how you feel and you are not alone <3 

As I’ve just entered the third and final trimester of my second pregnancy, I wanted to take some time to reflect a little upon how this has been impacting my overall style and self-confidence. You always picture yourself wearing the cutest maternity fits but as with anything, imagination is one thing; real life is different. One thing I will say before jumping in though is, I love being pregnant and I am so so grateful to be – but I also love fashion and style, and naturally with such a rapidly changing body it does come with some challenges. I only hope these reflections can inspire or help those of you entering the same chapter of life!

1. Comfort vs. style

When you go through pregnancy, you go through different stages of body changes. One thing I will say about being pregnant the second time around is how quickly it starts showing and also the rapid, rapid speed in which you may gain weight. It didn’t take long before I could no longer pull my usual jeans over my hips! Either way, when your body starts changing the way it does through pregnancy it becomes harder and harder to dress comfortably in style through every stage. As you might find yourself having to add a few new pieces to your wardrobe to carry you through it all, I’d recommend focusing on versatile and comfortable pieces like wrap-dresses/skirts, stretchy maxi or midi dresses and maternity jeans/trousers – the ladder especially if you’re not much of a dress-person (like me). In the early stages I preferred trousers that didn’t have the traditional belly cover-up so I could still tuck my tops in and play a little with the proportions of my outfits, and also because it can get quite hot and uncomfortable during summer time with that extra piece of fabric covering your belly. However, now that the temperatures have dropped and my belly has gotten significantly bigger, I’ve found myself going back to the traditional maternity jeans which include the cover-up. They just sit better on your hips and bum in the final stage of pregnancy whereas the ones that just have the elasticated waist do tend to drop down a little, and it gets kind of annoying having to pull them back in place all the time… Having said that, those will be amazing transitional pieces the first few months postpartum so they’re great to have at hand.

2. Regular wardrobe edits

I was at a really good, happy place with my wardrobe and style before I got pregnant the second time. In fact now that I look back at all the autumn outfits I wore last year, I’m a little sad not to be able to rewear all of them! Alas, a little something to look forward to next year. It’s likely that you’re going to encounter feeling uninspired with your wardrobe several times through your pregnancy though, especially as you go through the different stages of body changes with each trimester. Usually I edit my wardrobe 4 times per year, one edit per season, but it’s been more fluid through this pregnancy. Basically as soon as something no longer fits me, I’ve been storing those pieces away, getting them out of my sight to see my possibilities a little more clearly and I highly recommend that approach of more regular wardrobe edits! In fact I JUST did my autumn wardrobe switchover a few weeks ago, and this morning I had to pull aside a few things yet again, that just didn’t sit right anymore even though I literally just went through a big edit. So let it be a fluid process of wardrobe editing so you can feel inspired anew with your wardrobe. Something I find quite handy is to pair the edits with regular dress-up sessions where you create outfits that are just the right amount of comfy and stylish, and then have those outfits ready on a rail outside of your wardrobe for the next stretch. Makes getting dressed so easy! On my current rail for example, I have 4 everyday outfits and 2 comfy yet stylish weekend looks ready to wear.

3. Battling lack of variety

Maternity wear generally can feel a little frumpy and basic. There’s not a lot of variety on the market I think, especially not if you do your best to buy preloved either. I wish there was an app that specialised in preloved maternity wear only as I’ve only encountered maternity wear categories on the traditional secondhand apps like Vinted. And don’t get wrong, there’s A LOT of stuff out there already and I do recommend having a browse; I just wish you could filter down the categories even more from just “maternity” to specific cuts, fits, etc. The simple solution here is to do your best. I’ve bought 2 pairs of maternity jeans from our local H&M because that’s the best option I have available where I live, and I do find the fit and also the quality quite decent on them. And trust me, I’ve made some major errors buying preloved bottoms online that didn’t fit properly, purely thanks to the fact that I wasn’t able to try them on first. What a waste!! In my opinion it’s way better then, to buy a few pieces and get it right the first time. Or get hand-me-downs from friends and family so you can try things on, even better! 

Another solution to the lack of variety you may encounter is to use Pinterest to gather inspiration on wearing (especially stretchy) pieces you already have (here’s my “cute maternity looks” board if you’re interested). It’s also a great tool to help you curate a little maternity capsule or wish list of things you might want to add along the way. Adding accessories to your looks, doing your hair and makeup as well as adding finishing touches with jewellery is also a nice, rather effortless way of feeling more put-together. Layering is another great way to add interest to your looks, especially if you find them a little too basic or boring. Finally another styling trick I’ve found helpful especially during this last trimester of my pregnancy has been the BIG-SLIM-SKIN as known by fashion brand TIBI. Something that has knocked my confidence sideways this time around is how big I’ve been feeling. Maybe it’s going from one pregnancy to more or less bounce back to my regular size and then finding myself removed from that all over again, or perhaps just the simple fact that I have gained more weight this time. No matter what, it just makes you feel like a stranger in your own body doesn’t it? Walking past the mirror I hardly recognise myself at this point. Playing with the proportionate balance of my looks has helped a lot though. For example, if I’m wearing a mainly loose and comfy outfit (BIG), I’ve enjoyed pushing up my sleeves, wearing flats or sandals and keeping some buttons open around my neckline (SKIN + SLIM as you’re showing some skin and also highlighting narrow points of your body like neck and wrists). This makes me feel “lighter” and not so overwhelmed by the size of my belly nor the amount of fabric I might have been wearing on my body.

4. Don’t make any rushed decisions or major style changes

In continuation of the previous point about feeling like a stranger in your own body, it’s normal to encounter that feeling of just not being your regular you when you’re pregnant. Something I’ve learned (in hindsight) is to not make any major style changes during this challenging time of your life. Especially not postpartum when everything is messy, cloudy and hectic and your life is forever changed all at once. 3 months after I gave birth to our daughter in 2020 I decided it was a good idea to get a fringe. I hadn’t had my hair dyed for over a year, I didn’t have time or energy to make myself look nice in the morning and so I thought, well a fringe is an easy way to add some character to your look without having to do much. I wanted to look like a chic, French girlie! Except having a fringe actually comes with *a lot* of invisible labour like daily washing and blow drying, not to mention the fact that I couldn’t stand the feeling of having hair in my face all day long so I ended up clipping it back all the time. It was an unrealistic plan. When I look back I also don’t think it suited my face shape whatsoever, I didn’t look or feel like myself which only reinforced the overwhelming feeling of being a new parent where nothing is the same way it used to be. Life is short and hair will always grow back, so I don’t think I regret having tried a fringe; but I probably won’t be making any similar “major” changes this time around because it can really mess with your  mind. Remember, so much psychology goes into our fashion and style choices and it matters more than people sometimes care to think! It’s not “just hair” or “just clothes”. What I’m trying to say here is give things time. Be gentle with yourself and try not to rush to conclusions or make rushed decisions right now. I’ve been trying to grow my hair out long for the past year, but I’ve booked myself in for a hairdresser appointment in a few weeks, to go back to my trusty lob that I’ve had for the past 10 years. It will be a bit of a change for now as my hair has gone quite long, but at least I’m going back to something I know and something I feel has become my signature and I’m really excited about getting back to that version of myself.

5. Buy if and when you need to

Finally, it’s easy to get swayed by all those cute maternity looks on Pinterest or Instagram. When I found out I was pregnant again I immediately started curating inspiration and saving maternity clothes in my favourites list on Vinted. I had been anticipating this chapter of my life for so long and it became a lovely creative outlet for me – but I did also end up buying a handful of things for my wardrobe that I later regretted. The ill-fitting preloved bottoms as mentioned earlier (which I should have just bought from new to start off with), and a couple things I bought with the idea of having them to “carry-me-through” every stage of my pregnancy, but then outgrew with a blink of an eye. All with the best intentions don’t get me wrong, but in hindsight I know it would have been better to buy if and when needed rather than all at once. You just don’t know how your body is going to look or change through each stage of pregnancy! Doing the regular wardrobe edits and then filling the gaps along the way instead is far more mindful in my opinion. Plus, you really don’t need an entirely new wardrobe because of the fact that you’re pregnant. I know some of us will feel frustrated with the lack of variety in our wardrobes because at some point it will just feel like you have absolutely NOTHING to wear, not to mention the overwhelming feeling of being so far removed from ourselves all of the sudden, and we will crave change. I’ve been there! But try to accept that this is a temporary thing and (again) be gentle with yourself. I promise you, after a while everything will settle down, you’ll start collecting those little pieces of yourself that you thought you’ve lost forever and you’ll see things more clearly again bit by bit. Especially after a while when your little one has arrived, although it may seem never-ending and hectic, things will eventually calm down again. Trust the process <3

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